Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
