Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My pussy is not your playground.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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