Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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