I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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