Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it because I queefed?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
