I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
