Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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