Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize