Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
