i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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