I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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