it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
