i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
