Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
