You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
