"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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