Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
