so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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