fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
