hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize