I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
