i think my mom watched the whole time
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
