so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
