Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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