When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You've changed since you got that strap on
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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