Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
