Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
