My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
