Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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