She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
