There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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