AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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