My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
