very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
