Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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