did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
