I love black thongs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
