she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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