Who wears a wallet chain?!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
