In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
