It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
only if we run a train.
done.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
