is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Randomize