God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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