would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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