I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize