On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
