I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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