Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
