it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
