Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
