i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
