Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
