My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
