I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
