i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize