the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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