you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
