I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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