Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
