and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
