is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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