Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
