I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize