I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
