So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize