so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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