I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
