dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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