do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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