god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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