I have demons in me.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
