Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize