We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
